Most did not divorce. (Emery, “Marriage, Divorce and

Most parents in the United States struggle with putting their families through a divorce. There are many variables that can lead to a divorce such as; money (both lack of and having too much), developed personality conflict, lack in sexual attraction and/or drive, and work complications. Unfortunately, countless struggling marriages are solely bound together by the adoration and protection of children. This typically lasts until the child moves out or completes schooling. With that being said, some couples divorce once they realize the marriage is unable to be saved, typically in hopes to save the children from traumatic arguments or neglect. Around age 30, three-quarters of women in the U.S. have been married once. Roughly half have lived with a significant other outside of wedlock. According to a comprehensive new report on cohabitation, marriage, divorce, and remarriage released in 2014 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).After peaking at 50 percent in the 1980s, the national divorce rate has dropped. In the public’s mind, that outdated “half of all marriages” figure still sticks. In 2014 there were a recorded marriages: 2,140, 272 out of 49 reporting States. Marriage rate was a whopping 6.9 per 1,000 total population. The divorce rate was only 3.2 per 1,000 population (CDC). Children of divorce are four times more likely to report problems with peers and friends than children whose parents have kept their marriages intact. (Tysse, Burnett, “Moral Dilemmas of Early Adolescents of Divorced and Intact Families. Journal of Early Adolescence 1993). Children of divorce, particularly boys, tend to be more aggressive toward others than those children whose parents did not divorce. (Emery, “Marriage, Divorce and Children’s Adjustment, 1988). Teenagers in single-parent families and in blended families are three times more likely to need psychological help within a given year. (Peter Hill “Recent Advances in Selected Aspects of Adolescent Development” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 1993). Children living with both biological parents are 20 to 35 percent more physically healthy than children from broken homes. (Dawson, “Family Structure and Children’s Health and Well-being” Journal of Marriage and the Family). Unfortunately, most victims of child molestation come from single-parent households or are the children of members involved in drugs or drug rings. (Los Angeles Times 16 September 1985 The Garbage Generation). People who come from broken homes are almost twice as likely to attempt suicide than those who do not come from broken homes. (Velez-Cohen, “Suicidal Behavior and Ideation in a Community Sample of Children” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1988). Children of divorced parents are roughly two times more likely to dropout of high school. (McLanahan, Sandefur, “Growing Up With a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps” Harvard University Press 1994) (Huffpost).These days most people accept divorce as a way of life, completely unaware of the damage they are doing to their children. Nearly 40 to 50 percent of marriages in the United States are likely to end in divorce. Male same-sex marriage is nearly 50 percent more likely to end in divorce than a heterosexual marriage(Couples Therapy (CT)). Most children say that hearing their parents argue was more stressful than the divorce itself and that they would have realized something was wrong with the relationship, even if their parents had stayed married. Most realized that unhappy parents take their feelings out on the kids and that adapting to the divorce as a kid is not as hard as one would think (Huffpost).If one’s parents were divorced, than they are at least 40 percent more likely to get divorced than if they were not. If their parents married others after divorcing, they are at a shocking 91 percent more likely to get divorced. If both partners (children from broken homes) have had previous marriages, they are 90 percent more likely to get divorced than if this had been the first marriage for both of them (CT). People are more likely to break up when they are just living together than when they are officially married, although interestingly the chances of a divorce increase over time for both situations. Some parents are so worried that they remain in unhappy marriages, believing it will protect their children from the trauma of divorce (CDC). Researchers have found that only a relatively small percentage of children experience serious problems in the wake of divorce or, later, as adults. I, personally, was raised in a split family. My parents divorced when I was roughly 18 months old and my mother gained full custody of me. Unlike more common divorces, no adultery was ever committed, there were no monetary issues, and they were both very happy people. My father was in the Army when my parents found out they were pregnant with me. They each already had their own child: my sister was from my dad’s side, and my brother from my other’s side (making a grand total of 3). Since my father was enlisted, only legal marriages and biological family members could live on base. Attempting to bring two families together for the better, they chose to marry. As far as my infant and toddler stages regarding the divorce, I only remember conflicts about who would have me for holidays and summer breaks. This was mainly due to the fact that they lived three hours away from each other. My father remarried when I was two, and my mother remarried when I was three. Around the age of eight, my parents respect my decisions enough to let me choose where I stayed on weekends, holidays, and summer breaks (so long as it met court requirements). Such respect resulted in; less arguments, more sports involvement, higher focus on school work, and the chance to work more jobs when I got older.I grew up fairly close with both of my step parents, and they never overstepped the parent/step parent boundaries. My step mother could not have her own children, so my sister and I were slightly spoiled. My step father was an amazing father figure, but not a relatively great husband in the latter half of the marriage, resulting in another divorce when I was about seventeen years old, and has never been happier. My father is in the healthiest and happiest marriage I have ever witnessed, my mother is single and in no way intending to meet a new partner, my sister has a beautiful baby girl, and my brother and I live across the country making a new an exciting life for ourselves. With my personal experience, I would never change my family and the way we turned out. We are beautifully odd and ever so happy.A 2002 report, prepared by CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics, focuses not only on individual factors but also community conditions associated with long-term marriages as well as divorce. The study also examines conditions associated with cohabitation, including the impact that premarital cohabitation has on marriage and marital stability. It suggested that both cohabitations and marriages tend to last longer under certain conditions, such as: a woman’s age at the time cohabitation or marriage began; whether she was raised throughout childhood in an intact 2-parent family; whether religion plays an important role in her life; and whether she had a higher family income or lived in a community with high median family income, low male unemployment, and low poverty (CDC) Divorce affects most children in the short run, but research suggests that kids recover rapidly after the initial blow (Huffpost). In a 2002 study psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington of the University of Virginia and her then graduate student Anne Elmore found that many children experience short-term negative effects from divorce, especially anxiety, anger, shock and disbelief. These reactions typically diminish or disappear by the end of the second year. Most children of divorce also do well in the longer term. In a quantitative review of the literature in 2001, sociologist Paul R. Amato examined the possible effects on children several years after a divorce into adolescence or the teenage years, assessing their academic achievement, emotional and behavior problems, delinquency, self-concept and social relationships. On average, the studies found only very small differences on all these measures between children of divorced parents and those from intact families, suggesting that the vast majority of children endure divorce well. Even though children of divorce generally do well, a number of factors can reduce the problems they might experience. Children fare better if parents can limit conflict associated with the divorce. Children who live in the custody of at least one well-functioning parent do better than those whose primary parent is doing poorly. Children with an easy-going temperament tend to fare better. Coping styles can also make a difference. For example, children who are good problem solvers and who seek social support are more resilient than those who rely on distraction and avoidance (Scientific American).The majority of bad marriages today are held together for the sake of the children. Many parent believe that divorce can lead to a corrupt adulthood later on in life. Other parents think that divorce is ideal so that the child(ren) do not have to stress out about the parents’ issues. Most children would prefer their parents to divorce in order to live a happier life and to see their parents happy. While other children do not want to see the family split up. A large amount of children undergoing a parents divorce say they feel left out or pushed aside. Children should have a voice in the idea so that they do not feel misplaced or, in some cases, develop a mental condition.