“Do one thing every day that scares you” Eleanor Roosevelt “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” Franklin D. Roosevelt Everybody on the planet has more than one fear. Some are more severe than others; some are understandable while others are trivial.
Fear is mostly mental. Fear is a menacing part of life. Fear is frightening. Fear is an exciting part of life. Without fear there would be less control in the world. Fear brings notable traits such as perseverance and determinism. Fear is an intimidating thing but it can bring good to a person’s life.
Personally, I have a fear of death. It could happen any day, any time and any way and there is no way you can control it. I never thought death could happen at a young age. I grew up in a sheltered household and I wasn’t really introduced to death as an adolescent. When a fish died I got a new one, when my dog Sammy died I had Just gotten a puppy before that and I never grasped the fact that Sammy was dead. My parents always beat around the bush at subjects like death. I am fortunate enough to have all of my immediate family (Including great grandparents) still alive and kicking.
Before the end of fifth grade I had no idea I loud lose someone so fast. Before the end of fifth grade I had no idea that those horrible things on the news could affect me. My fear of death rooted from one event, this one event changed my outlook on life and it instilled fear into day-to-day moments. I had more fear than a normal 11 year old should have in their life. My fear of death all started in the month of July, it was 5 weeks after my last day of fifth grade and a few days after my birthday.I remember the day very vividly (which is odd because I don’t remember much of grade school.
) I remember my mom walking into y room, I remember her face, I remember her tone. She looked sick but not like sinus sick she was pale and had dried tears. I knew something was wrong.
“I don’t know how to go about this…
” Dad walks in “l Just want to let you know that we love you Brad, we want you to talk to us” I interjected “what is it? ” Mom replied “Brad, something really wrong happened last night. I don’t want to tell you this but I have to.Brad, your friend Coir passed away. ” My mom began sobbing and my dad was trying not to cry but all I could see was pain. I smiled, I said, “you’re Joking, you have to be. I was in denial. I guess that’s a step in the coping phase.
Once I noticed that my parents were completely serious I lost it. I dug my head into the pillow so I couldn’t see the world. I thought the worst. I still couldn’t believe it. I felt like someone was sitting on my chest, I felt like I was having a bad dream and it still feels like a bad dream.
My best friend was dead, but how?I was over at her house 24 hours before. Her mom and dad and her seemed perfect, we went and got ice cream and we celebrated her birthday a few weeks before. I couldn’t fathom that my best friend could die. After I collected myself for a second I asked my mom “why? How? ” Then my mom got even whiter, she looked like she saw a ghost and was about to lose her lunch. My dad now started to cry. The pit in my stomach got bigger. They were silent. A few seconds passed by My mom looked at me, looked down, looked back into my eyes and began to cry more.
We went and I lit a candle in honor of the family. For months I couldn’t think straight, I was in constant fear. I had trust issues, I couldn’t last a day without thinking how much Coir would have appreciated something or thinking about how I could have prevented it from happening. After about 4 months I began coming to terms with death. Death is a fact of life. Honestly I don’t think I will ear I lost another very close teammate to a drunk driving accident and a year before I lost a teacher to cancer. Death is apparent, it’s going to happen and there is no stopping it.It’s overcoming the fear in death that helps us enjoy life.
I still think my feelings at this time were very rational. Anyone in their right mind at that age would fear death after the events that happened. It’s the courage to continue life and accept adversity that lead to apparent success in life. I did get professional help from a Psychologist who talked me through everything and taught me coping mechanisms hat still to this day help.
Looking back onto this event I don’t think I would change anything other than it not happening.I am a strong believer in the adage “everything happens for a reason. ” Although I didn’t want something as traumatic as a death happen I believe it made me a stronger person and it made me appreciate life as a gift. Instead of living in fear of death I live life to the fullest as if death were to happen at any time. Having these events happen to me really opened my outlook on life; looking past my fear of death has made my life better. Every day is a gift and life needs to be treated that way.