Growing up I’ve always had a great relationship with my parents and have been blessed to always have both my mom and dad around. We are a pretty open family and talk all the time even while I’m away at school. I am very close with both of them but my mom and I are probably the closest and talk the most, which is why will be analyzing our relationship and communication through different listening barriers, nonverbal messages, and interpersonal conflict. Listening barriers are virtually every. ere and have negative effects on the legislations if they are not dealt with properly. My mom and I definitely encounter many types of barriers and things that cause our relationship to weaken in a sense. Some main barriers that always seems to play a role are the distractions around us, more specifically the TV or background noise. When we eat dinner we often have the television on and playing some show, or when I am on the phone with her often times I will be on the couch watching some show or be around friends.
This sometimes causes problems when one person is more interested in the show than the conversation at and because full attention isn’t there and therefore information is missed, which could in turn be important. I’ve never really thought about all the times that the TV has distracted me but it causes me to almost completely tune out what she is saying until she is done speaking. This is not only rude but makes it more difficult to have good in depth conversations.
A specific example of this is her telling me one time that needed to call my aunt for her birthday, well it was also while a good basketball game was on, one that was very into, so I didn’t hear that part and ended up not calling my aunt. This definitely had a negative effect on us because it upset my and disappointed her that I didn’t take the time out of my day for such a simple task that should have been done anyways. It also made me become embarrassed when I had to call my aunt late and apologize for missing her on her birthday.
However while we both seem to get distracted a lot by physical objects that cause barriers between our listening my mother and are close enough that most other barriers that might affect another relationship do not affect ours. My mom is very understanding and therefore does not tend to be biases towards e because of our age difference. She understands the differences between how she grew up and how I am growing to a point that she puts herself in my shoes before assessing a problem or situation am in. This is a quality I definitely cherish in her because Of how easy it is to talk to her.
Another barrier that am at fault of when talking with my mom is that tend to only listen to parts want to hear or things that are relevant to me. This is a very selfish act of mine that I never even realized I did until learning about it, which hurts our relationship because I don’t care enough to listen to some of the hinge she has to say. I have started to pay better attention recently and listen more to what she says and in turn actually found my mom and Xi’s conversations to be much more interesting, enjoyable and even more in depth.
Barriers are always going to be around and can always have the potential to harm a relationship but if they are eliminated one can really see how great some conversations can be. Nonverbal communication is probably one of the strongest points for my mom and Xi’s relationship. It is as if we can have a full conversation by just looking at each other. My mom has many different facial expressions that I an easily pick up on with out anyone else even knowing. One of these being the “you better cut that out right now’ stink eye she gives me anytime I am taking a joke too far.
Usually at the dinner table I like to start up some sort of trouble with one of my brothers or even my dad. It tends to be funny at first but then I start to annoy one of them to a point they might actually be getting angry; This is the exact point where my mom gives me the “stink eye. ” Anytime I notice this look immediately know I need to stop. The nonverbal communication between her and I definitely has strengthened our legislations but at times has also caused some confusion. Sometimes my mom will be laughing and smiling at something I am doing when she actually is getting annoyed and mad wanting me to Stop.
The laughter and smiling causes me to continue my actions and in turn we end up in an argument or fight. This miscommunication definitely harms our relationship because I can never tell at which point she is really mad or if she is actually laughing with me. One major nonverbal way my mom communicates her love to me that I just recently noticed is the way she hugs me and waits until she cannot see y car anymore every time I leave to go back to school. The hug that she gives me isn’t just a normal friendly hug, it is a strong “Please come back soon hug. After we hug one last time and get into my car and wave once more before starting to drive off but every time notice in my rear view mirrors her standing there watching my car for as long as she can. This is such a strong “tie sign” that shows me how much she really is going to miss me until my return and makes me definitely appreciate how much she will miss me and how much I will miss her. It truly is amazing the strength some nonverbal arms of communication are. Although my mom and are very close we encounter a lot of interpersonal conflict.
I’m a very stubborn kid with a short temper and tend to get mad easily but then forgive and move on with the situation in a short period of time. My mom on the other hand is also just as stubborn but seems to use the avoidance strategy and will sometimes not talk about it for days sometimes even a week depending on the situation. This is where most our conflicts come into place. Whenever an argument or disagreement arises we both always think we are right and our stubbornness’s won’t admit defeat. This in turn causes some heated arguments that end in one of us getting way to mad about the situation and harming our relationship.
When my mom uses the avoidance method it becomes very difficult to communicate with her because she will often respond to questions or statements with short answers that get us nowhere and draw out the problem even longer. Typically one of us will eventually realize who was actually right and wrong and by that time it won’t even matter because we both just want the conflict to be resolved so we both apologize. Another way we tend to have agreements, especially when was a junior and senior in high school, was through relationship conflicts and who had the final say in what I could or could not do.
As I got closer to getting to college I just wanted the freedom to do what I wanted without having my mom tell me what to do. Obviously this caused problems while was living underneath my parent’s roof because they still had their set rules. A specific example of this was senior year after a football game my buddies and I wanted to go out and celebrate the win by drinking and of course my mom was opposed to this and told me I could go UT but I had to be back home and was not allowed to drink. Out of shear disobedience, of course I drank and did not come home.
Well when I did arrive back home the next morning I came back to a house with a very disappointed and angry Mom. Looking back I can see she was only trying to kick out for me and make sure I did not get in trouble and ruin the rest Of my high school football career if I got caught, but only saw her rule as not letting me have any fun and trying to control me. This relationship conflict hurt our relationship probably more than anything because of how ignorant I was bout the situation and how disappointed my mom was.
It wasn’t until almost months after that even began to gain her trust back and start building our relationship again. Conflict has had many negative effects on our relationship but striving through them and resolving our issues have made my mom and way more open and close about many different issues. My mother and I have definitely had our ups and downs in our relationship and our communication isn’t perfect but through the different barriers, nonverbal messages, and our interpersonal conflict the relationship I have with my mom is something I wouldn’t change for the world.