It has been proven that 65-95% of women have never experienced a vaginal orgasm. There are many different factors that could be the cause of this such as medications that are being taken, lack of knowledge of the body on both parties, and psychological apprehensions. Whatever the case, many women need to know that if they have never experienced an orgasm, more than likely it is not because there is something wrong with their bodies. As you know, women’s bodies are complicated and the fact that almost everything works on chemicals doesn’t help. So what happens when you add medications to something that already runs on chemicals?
You get chemical reactions. Researchers have found that antibiotics, asprin, and other medications can affect the chemical responsible for the sex drive. So ladies, the next time you go through that medicine cabinet, think twice about what you’re taking! Another reason that many women can’t achieve a vaginal orgasm is because of the lack of knowledge of both men and women about our bodies. When I asked a few of my friends what and where the G-spot was, most knew what it was but couldn’t tell me anything else about it. The G-spot is a bundle of nerve endings located at the front of the pelvis.
It can be found by inserting a finger into the vagina and making a “come here” motion. A lot of women don’t know that most of the nerve endings are at the opening of the vagina, not inside, which means that it takes knowledge of your own body to find what feels best for you. Men, more than likely, are not going to know exactly what to do, when to do it and how fast or hard to do it. Sometimes it can be something as simple as placing a pillow beneath your butt to get a certain angle, or trying a new position to get deeper penetration, and other times it may be that your man doesn’t know his own body or how to use it .
So it is up to the woman to let him know. But how can she do this if she doesn’t know what works for her? Well, a woman should “master her domain. ” According to Glamour magazine a woman should be able to have an orgasm by herself before having one with a partner. You should experiment and see what feels best for so that you will be able to tell your partner when the time comes. And the last and most important reason (at least in my book) that so many women have not experienced a vaginal orgasm is because of the psychological apprehensions that come with sex.
Susie Bright, author and inventor of many sexual self-help and relationship helping books and toys says that many of the problems in sexual relationships come from above the neck. I can speak from experience here. So many women are not comfortable with their bodies or are just uncomfortable with their performance. Anxiety about these things can greatly affect the state of mind that you want to be in to achieve orgasm. Anxiety can also be caused by stress, comparing yourself to your partner’s past lovers, or inexperience. So how do we get over these things?
Well, first, ask yourself these questions: a) Am I comfortable with the person I am having sex with? b) Am I being asked to do something that I don’t want to do? c) Is there a lot of stress in my life such as job or family problems? d) Am I happy with the person that I am or the body that I have? e) Have I ever achieved an orgasm by myself? f) What am I thinking about during sex? This last question is the one that is most important to me because I have never been able to have a vaginal orgasm because my mind is never 100% there.
I’m usually thinking about whether I am doing my job as a woman, if it feels good to my boyfriend, if he would rather be with someone else, if I’m the worst or best he’s ever had or just okay. Like myself, I believe that the only way to get over these anxieties is to talk about them, find out why you’re so uncomfortable with your body or his experience or whatever. Tell your mate about this problem and maybe the two of you can work together about some solutions. There are other ways of achieving orgasm such as toys to enhance your sex life.
Designed by well-known sexologist Betty Dodson, this one pound stainless steel barbell called the Vaginal Barbell was created to help strengthen the oft-discussed PC (pubococcygeus) muscle and is a better version of your standard kegelciser. It also helps widen the vaginal opening for less painful entry during sex for first-timers. I’ve already figured out what I need, which is to simply fulfill a certain fantasy of mine that you don’t need to know because you don’t need the visual. But it may be that you can overcome this by acting out a fantasy to remove the rational thought from your mind and just let go.
If you know that the problem is psychological then once you’re able to let go of all those thoughts and just enjoy the feeling, more than likely you’ll be having orgasms every time you have sex. Because once you have your first orgasm it’s much easier to have another, and you know what they say, practice makes perfect! Bibliography : Bibliography 1) Maxim magazine. July 2001 issue, Volume 5, Number 7. 2) Glamour magazine. May 2001 issue, Volume 4, Number 7 3) Dr. Linda Follenweider, NP. Chicago Family Health Center. 4)Bright, Susie. Interview with Salon magazine 5)Dobson, Betty