The Fear of Being Judged As I was reading Shelia Bender’s, “The Art of the Personal Essay: How to Turn a Nagging Question or a Troubling Experience into Entertaining and Insightful Writing”, I could not help but think that some of the fears Bender mentioned applied to instances and experiences that happened in my life as well. One of the many fears mentioned that personal-essay writers face, stood out especially to me. This fear was to “affirm that hunger for self-knowledge drives them to write despite their fears and is more important than what others think of them”.
We all know that everyone has a problem with caring about what other people think of them, even if some would like to disagree, proving that, indeed, they do care because by disagreeing, they are trying to sound confident of themselves so that others will see them as a sturdy and unwavering person and that nothing anyone can say or do will bring them down. But this particular fear does not necessarily have to be about having a strong enough hunger for self-knowledge so that you can write an essay.
It can apply to life in neural as well, such as standing up for something that you strongly believe in whether or not others agree with you and to not let anyone or anything make you back down. As all of this was running through my head, I remembered a time when standing up for what I believed in was difficult because I was afraid of what others thought of me. One afternoon at school, as I was quietly sitting at a desk in the third row to the right in my Government class, waiting impatiently for the bell to ring, I started to overhear a conversation that was getting louder and louder coming from a roof of rowdy boys that were sitting near me.
They were all talking about drinking and getting drunk at an “off the hook” party they went to the other night. As their conversation progressed and more people Joined in, they started talking about how the age to drink legally should be changed from 21 to 16. The only thought that passed through my mind was “And that’s why the drinking age is 21 and not anything lower because immature people go crazy and party every weekend. ” I couldn’t think anything was more stupid than getting drunk every night and failing out of high school, getting nowhere in life.
As I started to tap my foot with the second hand on the clock, a guy named James asked me, “Hey Elizabeth, do you drink? ” I answered “No” thinking that he would leave me alone after that but then the question, “So what do you think about the idea of getting drunk? “, came next. In my head, I knew what “l think that the idea of getting drunk is the wrong decision to make my answer was. And that it can ruin your life” was what ran through my head but as everyone stared at me, I started thinking about how they would Judge me.
I knew that it really didn’t matter but I didn’t want to be thought of as the nerd who didn’t have any fun so what I actually told him was, “l guess it’s… Okay. ” Everyone nodded their heads and agreed with me completely. As I look back now, I know better than to Just go with the flow and give people what they want. The guys in my government class wanted to hear that drinking is okay and that it is fine if everyone does it, but I have a different belief. I realized that what I believe in is more important than what others would think of me f they found out that I do not agree with them.
Bender proves in her article that without having the fear of being Judged. Her point can be made in real life as well as we go through each and every day. My own memory shows me that sticking to everything you believe in and living life truthfully is an experience that essay-writers go though also as they write their thoughts on a page. Both have the same concept of getting over the fear of what others would think of them and knowing that maybe what you have to say is more important than someone else’s Judgment.